Feelings ......

2009-09-09T12:45:00.000+08:00

For your reading pleasure, from a friend

The Bizarre Behaviour of Singaporeans - observations made by a German national who has lived in Singapore for 9 years.

44 years of economic and material success have spawned some very strange behaviours among Singaporeans. They spent so much to buy a house or flat, furnished it up like a palace, but spent their time outside, most of the time at work. And the maids are the ones enjoying the million-dollar or multi-million-dollar assets.

Then they pay so much, the highest in the world, for a car only to park at home. Too expensive to drive, too many ERPs and car park charges to pay. And they are encouraged to park their cars at home and take public transport, being cheaper and more convenient.

And when Singaporeans travel, instead of seeing the places, they went shopping. The best part is that they would head for the cheapest bargains, buying stuff that they could get in Chinatown or pasar malam, at even cheaper prices. But they are still happy that they got a bargain.

And while the heartlanders are busy trying to make a life here, being told to bust off if they are not happy, which they could not, the rich and presumably very happy and contented citizens are buying up properties overseas just in case they need to make that escape from this paradise.
While many Singaporeans are thinking of jumping ship, or preparing to jump ship, hoards of new immigrants are rushing in to take their place in this paradise.

And to top it all up, they keep complaining about the govt and all the policies that they found unpalatable, but come every election, they will vote and return the govt to power.

Strange Singaporean behaviour

Photos Uploaded

2007-01-30T16:25:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, please visit http://verenel.multiply.com for our Europe Tour photos. And they are just photos only, nothing more. More private pictures/stories MIGHT be update here... So, keep a look out. But it might take some time...

If you can't view the photos, please log in into Multiply and make sure you are one of my contacts.

Europe Trip

2007-01-15T15:36:00.000+08:00

Hmm...Dear is not updating his blog so I help him create some post. Of cos with his permission.

Anyway, photos coming soon... Update takes a bit longer... Will try before CNY. There will be no updates on youlover.blogspot.com

By Ger

I am enlighted !!! i must be a man !!!

2006-12-05T07:33:00.000+08:00

I got to find out another major flaws that i have. that is being very lazy ...... and not behaving like a man in our TV relationship ......

i realise the flaw this evening while i was msn-ing my love ...... my princess have kindly shortlisted 3 travel insurances, and ask me to help her decided which one should she purchase..... being lazy and trying to get the easy way out, i just compare the prices and advice my dear to buy the cheapest one.

my princess must be angry with me, she sigh and said that:" cannot depend on you". This words really wake me up ...... it might be a casual remark from her .... but i take it serious ..... it is not a bad thing that i take this seriously, becoz it is a wake up call for me ..... it is sub-conscious thought of my princess on me ......

in order to win my princess heart and to show / reassure her that i am her Mr. Right, i must make her feel assured when she is with me ...... and to do so ..... i must be a man !!!!! be her man !!!!!

to be a man - her man, i must learn to shoulder responsibilities. maybe i am the youngest in my family, i always have the easy way out and never have to worry much about this thing called responsibility. so i deduced that one very important thing that i haven't give or proven to my princess, is my maturity. i must mature and evolved into a man ..... no longer a boy boy in my family ......

maturing into a man and learning to shoulder responsibility will give my princess assurance and that is translated into security. Security has always been one of a very important aspect that a ger looks for in a guy. i never knew what security is ...... and also did not know how to give my love the sense of security she needs.

But today ...... my dearest princess have guided me to yet another enlightment - how to provide her the sense of security that she is entitled to, from me.

i must say, most of you might not know that wat i am today - a much refine gentleman and a better understanding of woman, is the work of my dearest love. All the credits go to my dearest princess ...... she teaches me how to be a gentleman - opening doors for gers and their frens, be a patient listener, etc ....... and demonstrates to me that gers are "kou shi xin fei". that is, they will say one thing but do another. and i have to interpret wat is really in their mind.

i will do my very best to grow up and provide u with the sense of security u need (hopefully soon).

Thank you my love .....

Nothing is absolute in this world

2006-12-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

Nothing is absolute in this world. That is what my dearest princess likes to say. I agreed with her. But the saying has limitation on its applications.

The saying: “Nothing is absolute in this world” applies to uncertainties, predictions and things that have not happen yet. But when things or events have occurred, the saying is not applicable. For example, I have never set foot in America before for my past 24 years of my life. That is absolutely true….. So there are absolute in this world.

So how is this apply to the context of our relationship (the human and alien princess affair) ??? Simple, I just want to say that, yes, it is true that we would not know what is going to happen to us and our relationship in the future, but …… we definitely can have some say or play some roles in the determination of the outcome up to a certain level …… maybe our will to be together takes 50% and the other 50% lies in out fate…..

My message to my dearest princess is this: yes, we might know what lies ahead of us and life is full of uncertainties. Since we already lose half of the deciding factor to fate, we must not give up the other half of the deciding factor that we have in our hands. Maximised the control of the outcome by having total faith in our relationship, which will win us half of the outcome we want – to complete our journeys with the companionship of each other.

My dearest alien princess, trust me!!! Trust your dear !!!

For my side, I am very assured ….. as what I have written on my last post, I know that u r a really really nice ger who is very smart, very conservative and do not fool around. That is y you have all my trust and faith.

I know it is not fair to ask you to have the same level of faith in me as I am to u. Simply becoz I have a lot of shortcomings as compared to you. I will try to constantly upgrade and improve myself so as to reduce the amount of shortcomings that I have. Hopefully, one day, I can earn your full trust and your commitment to me.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

So fortunate of me !!! to have u by my side =)

2006-12-01T01:20:00.000+08:00

This thought just flash through my mind while i was preparing to go school this morning - I am so fortunate to get you (yes... is u la... Alien Princess) to be my girlfriend. Loving u and been loved by u is really wonderful. It is just like my life is coated with honey ..... so sweet, so nice, so fortunate.....

Saying all these is not to make u happy ..... these are the words that are from my bottom of my heart.

Why do i say that u r so good and i am fortunate to have u by my side ??? The analysis was done by my 4th mistress and me.

U r a very caring and protective partner..... u treat urself and ur partner (and that is me !!!) as one. if either one is being bullied, u will sure bite the bully with ur sharp teeth. this is a character analysis, thus, no actual examples to quote, but can feel from the love u have for me.

u r also a clever ger..... u know when to be small ger, laid back and let the me lead the way, so that i will feel like a man. But the the same time, u won't blindly follow, u keep a look out for things i have miss out and neglected. the best example is this coming x'mas trip. u prompt me for details and also do some of your own research.

the next good point is that u r very guai ..... u tend to go home after school or work ..... u r not those gers flirt around..... this makes me very assured and have 100% confidence with u..... this can be seen by me and all your frens ....

last but not least ...... u r beautiful ..... and i am serious, not trying to be a sweet talker ..... u might not remember, a few years back, when we go back to Tampines MRT after Yiping's chalet, some ah bengs wolf whistling at you. Another incident, the BVSS gang went to Suntec Cafe Cartel to eat, i overheard the waiters were daring each other to approach u to get ur contact number from u. even thought they never really put their thoughts into actions, i am very sure, 100% sure that they r referring to u. Becoz at that time, there are not much people in the resturant, and they are looking at ur direction.

so ...... i know deep down in my heart i know that i am very fortunate to have u as my girlfriend..... i sincerely hope that our relationship can last ..... becoz i don't want to lose such a perfect ger..... it is not easy to find gers like you.

recently, i just can't concentrate in class and keep thinking of u ..... maybe is becoz u r coming to london to visit me liao ...... i am so excited and looking forward in seeing u and travel with u.

i hope the x'mas trip that i planned do not disappoint u. Let's pray that this x'mas trip will strenghten our relationship and let us know each other better.

I have seriously fallen for u, falling into a bottomless pit. I really like to spend the rest of my life with u. Wo ai ni Shumin !!!!! Let me hold your hands and complete the rest of our journey together.....

*muackz*

Can't help missing you ....

2006-11-29T07:34:00.000+08:00

it has been 2 months since we parted ... Communication has always been very difficult due to time difference. But no matter what, we still manage to have regular communication so far...

Even thought i have u in my heart, i still miss u terribly. There has not been one day that i have not miss u, each time i wear or remove the bracelet u gave me, it makes me misses u even more. I guess u really chose the right gift ..... i really love u and love the bracelet ...

Due to the time table i have for my new module and u busy with your work, cousin wedding and preparation to visit me in London, we have cut down communication drastically....

But the telephone conversation we had this afternoon was really great ...... I was smiling since then, even thought i deny to my 4th mistress ..... i have been quite gloomy these days until after the call today..... maybe that is how those people who take ectasy feel (i haven't try one before). the way u try to be very "teh" with me always excites me..... i really do not know when u really "teh" and when u r not ..... but i just like the way u r ......

looking forward to see u in person soon ..... 2 more weeks .....

*muackz*

I am tired ... I wanna go home !!!

2006-11-25T06:46:00.000+08:00

Sitting infront of my computer, applying moisturiser, thoughts just rushed into my mind... I am tired ... i wanna go home. Home - a place that can accomodate all my nonsense.

Living away from my family is never easy. Let alone staying with other people. Before i left uk for my studies last year ... My eldest brother advice me one thing. He said :" Living outside is not easy... u arhz ... better learn to be more accomodative and be more easy going ok? Don't think that other people can accept the things and thoughts u have... u r very fussy person... take things more easy, if not u will offend people."

Well, my brother words came true .... Shortly after i move in with my new flat mates this year.... things just goes wrong .... Looking back .... the fault sure lies in me and not them .... of course as the accused, i have some thing to say in my defence.

Many things goes wrong.... i do not need to list them all out ... but allow me to justify my actions.... people perceive me as a cleanliness freak.... like to be clean for everything .... think about it, if u don't keep things cleans, other than having rashes from dust and dirt, u will also stink. am i right ??? i know uk is cold, and u might not smell smelly stuffs so easily... but it is not an excuse to slack. because i got a very strong personal believe that since u have make an effort to do something right already, don't screw it up just becoz u r lazy or accident haapens. for example, if u wash ur clothes, wat u want to achieve is to make ur clothes clean right ??? if ur newly washed, wet clothes drop onto a dusty floor, should not u consider the item dirty and re-wash the item ??? because dust will just stick onto the wet clothes easily. if u say never mind, r u trying to imply that washing ur clothes is just going through the motion??? u wash ur clothes becoz other people wash their clothes too???

do things without keeping the objective in mind is just going through the motion. doing things with the primary objective in mind and achieving the objective is consider have the thing done. wat is the point of washing the toilet on the general surface looks clean and ignore the corners ??? the dirt from the corner will just come out after a few use of the toilet...

no wonder governement agencies and statutory boards always have deep shit at some corners everytime becoz the scholars i live with are displaying such personal traits in their daily life already ....haiz .....

another problem .... a scholar and top student laugh at me for labeling my personal food items in the house refrigerator. they ASSUME (making an ASS out of U and ME) that i am drawing line with them. thinking i am a selfish person. YES! i am drawing line, but the line do not help me but them !!!! urgh !!!!!

first thing, i do not share food, drinks and milk with them is becoz i consumer all these things fast and a lot. Sharing with them will just make them pay for wat they do not consume. In order to differentiate, my stuffs from theirs and the communal ones, i write my name on the things that belong to me... the reasons:

(1) i sometimes drink my milk from the carton, u wanna drink my saliva ??? OF COZ NOT RIGHT ??? still wanna laugh ???
(2) if any food stuffs are expired, of coz anyone have the right to remove it from the fridge. but it is also nice to let the owner know before or after discarding the thing right??? at least each other are well informed.... take a look at the fridge now ..... it is so packed to the brim, but does anyone notice an expired carton of milk is inside !?!?!?! i do not want to throw it away becoz i am already blacklisted in the household ...... even doing something right will be perceive as wrong .... I GIVE UP !!!

(3) often, things in the fridge needs to be reshuffle becoz we each have our own groceries inside ..... sometimes, after resguffling, u might not be able to find some of your own stuffs.... after some time.... u will forget abt the food... labeling will HELP u get back ur stuffs, becoz observant housemate might remind u that ur chocolate or other thing is there as they see that u might forget abt it....
GOD DAMN .... can't they see the advantage !!! fridge might look small, but things stuff here and there, there tend to have things hidden and are hard to be seen !!!!! STILL WANNA LAUGH ???

yes .... i might be hard to click with u all young kids becoz who knows, 2 to 4 years of age gap can have generation gap too ..... the jokes i crack, the things i say and my thoughts might not be easily comprehen (like the 2 instances above). yah .... i am sorry abt this .... who do not want to be well like and easy going.... but that is not me ..... BUT i also mean no harm ..... i can be a nice fren too .... if u get the chance to know me better ....

i do not usually bite !!! UNLESS LIKE NOW !!! THAT U ALL HAVE SHOWN ME THE UGLY SIDE OF U ALL. i have been sharpening my teeth .... but holding them back ..... PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME BITE .....

another principle of of mine ..... once u get on my bad side ..... i will fight back ..... even thought i know i will lose, i will still fight all the way !!! i have track record on this ..... DO NOT TRY ME !!!!!

shit .... why should i vent frustration on my laptop when i should vent on u guys !!! spolit my laptop only .....

FUCK YOU ALL !!! FUCK THE WORLD !!! I WANNA GO HOME !!! A PLACE WHERE I BELONG AND BE ACCOMODATED !!! MUMMY !!! I WANNA GO HOME !!!

FUCKING PISS ...........

Do u love me ???

2006-11-06T01:11:00.000+08:00

I owe this post to my dear dear for a very long already … Thus, I decided to put my work aside for a while to write this post.

I think close to a month ago, while chatting with my dear on msn, she ask me a question that almost every guys will find it tough to answer. That is: Do you think I love you ???

Thus, this is my answer to you dear ….

Firstly, I will of course die die say yes … because you are already officially my girlfriend already. If you don’t love me … then why the heck you are attached to me ??? Perfect logic right … But I guess your question is due to the lack of passion we have in our relationship…

If you did not realized or forgotten it, I have woo you for almost 3 years … and we have kinda mutually fall for each other about 1 and a half year ??? Passion had burnt out … but not our affection for each other.

Back to the main point … Love is a very complicated and abstract word. Abstract because everyone has different definationation for it. Complicated because the feeling of love is comprises of many other feelings.

Love is like a cocktail… Everyone has their own kinda of mixture … Some couples’ love have more passion compared to others … Some girls preferred to have their love cocktail to include the sense of security and etc etc …..

And I think your cocktail of love is trust and comfort. From my perspective, I think I have given you the feeling of trust and comfort as we have become close friends for about 2 years, and 3 years since we first started going out on sole date. As you have said it yourself, you do not trust people easily nowadays and to earn your trust takes a long time … that is why everything starts only in last summer (July 2006).

If you are attached to me just to feel how relationship is like, you would have gone with the other suitors you had long ago. They are much better than me in many ways anyway…

You are with me because you feel the love for you in me …. And therefore, you love me ….. And is because you love me …… that causes me to love you even more ….. and the cycle continues …. Never ending …..

And this is my answer to you …… is my answer to your satisfaction ???

Loving you, my alien princess
Six Tooth aka human

Hurray !!! My Dear Dear is coming to spent x'mas with me !!!

2006-10-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

Just to share my happiness with u guys out there... My Dear Dear have already bought her air ticket to London !!! We are going to spent our first x'mas together in Europe !!! This x'mas is going to be fun and exciting !!! Can't wait for x'mas to come !!!

To my Dear Dear aka Alien Princess aka ET

Thank you for making the effort to search for air ticket to London yourself.
Thank you for your courage to travel so far, to a unfamiliar place and the Tiger's Den alone.
Thank you for making all sacrifices you make just for this x'mas trip.
Sorry for making you spent almost all your saving just for this trip.

I know you have put in a lot of effort, courage, money, time and even your soul into our realtionship to make our relationship works. Even thought you always deny that you have contributed a lot into our relationship, deep down in my heart, i can see, hear and feel it. I am aware of all the things you do just for me. Sorry that i seldom say thank you infront of you. Thus, in this post, please allow me to say a big THANK YOU to my Dearest Alien Princess !!! I LOVE YOU !!! WO AI NI !!!

Do remind me if i ever forget the scarifices you made and take you for granted. Just scold me, cane me, whip me, box me, nag at me or do watever you want to remind me. Because in a relationship, we can never take each other for granted, no matter where or when.

Smiling off
Six Tooth

Oh no !!! I am labeled as MCP !!!

2006-09-26T21:11:00.000+08:00

Was talking to my good friend, Malcolm last night about our LDR….. So I mentioned about the couple ring that I brought with my Dear Dear. I told Malcolm about the surprise I initially wanted to give Dear Dear. However, due to the shipment delay, I am unable to execute the surprise that I had planned. Therefore, I mentioned to Malcolm that I have tasked my Dear Dear to present me the ring in a special way. And the reply I got from Malcolm was: ”Woah… You so MCP one arh.” =( Piangz … That is me … my poor life… being labeled MCP just for this … *sob* *sob* Is there justice in this world !!!

To make matter worse… Last night while I was lying on the sofa, preparing to sleep… I just speak my thoughts out aloud, saying: “I miss my ger”, my GOOD FREN Malcolm started to play a series of romantic love songs on his laptop. Rubbing salt into my wounds… Doubling, no no no, tripling, no no no, aiya … just make me miss my Dear Dear many many times more la … Although I felt asleep while talking to Malcolm and listening to those wonderful (but make me feel sad) love songs, nobody notice I teared before I fall asleep… *Goosh* Is there a better to describe my feelings to my Dear Dear then just saying I miss her and I love her ??? Surely there must be a better way to express my feelings to my Dear Dear… But how ???

heavy heavy heavy

2006-09-26T01:16:00.001+08:00

Finally ... the first pic of my blog coming soon

2006-09-14T12:45:00.000+08:00

the title of the post will be rename love bite .... juicy eh ??? then watch this place closely for the updates ....

ICAAS Dinner

2006-09-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

under current

2006-09-05T02:07:00.000+08:00

UK Bound 2006

2006-08-27T18:02:00.000+08:00

book the slot first

2006-08-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

Miscommunication, misunderstanding.

2006-06-09T09:18:00.000+08:00

With the advancement in technology, we are able to communicate with anyone across the globe in real time with minimum delay. Most modes of communication relay words or voices. The obvious differences between words and voices are; voices have tone and expressions while words do not relay such important information.

I was chatting with my good old friend a few minutes ago on MSN, when she got frustrated with me and went offline. I blame it on the mode of communication that we chose to use because it was words and not voices that relay our thoughts and messages. I chose to believe that the miscommunication was arose due to misinterpretation of the tone and expressions that I had tried to get across to her and the ones she interpreted.

In another prospective, it might be due to the harsh comments that I have typed that angered her. Both of us are going through part of our similar sh*t lives due to the decisions that we each made independently *that is to further our studies in a far away land, far far away from home, families and friends*. I was trying to make a point that we have to live with the decisions we had made and bear all the consequences that come along. But I guess I over do it.

I seriously wonder will our friendship be distanced, scarred or ruined by the conversation we just had ??? But one thing for sure, I do treasure our friendship. In fact, I treasure all the friendships that I have made so far because I do not acknowledge a person as my friend easily. However, once you are my friend, I hope I will never lose you. Friends forever.

What is my character ???

2006-06-07T07:00:00.000+08:00

One of my good friends regards Eeyore (the depressing donkey in Winnie the Pooh cartoon) as an icon of himself. I gradually find his Eeyore rather adorable and fun to play with.

That leads me to wonder ……..Hum……Which cartoon character suits my personality ??? Any suggestion anyone ??? The more suggestions the better !!! Please include explanations for your suggestion.

I do like certain soft toys though……… those that do not have fur…….. And a few of you who read my blog sure knows about my little embarrassing secret ……. Therefore should not be surprise that I like soft toys right ???

Look forward to all your suggestions.

Cheers

Sesame Street Rocks !!!

2006-06-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

To relive the good old days of sesame street !!! Check out the link below !!! Great sound archives of sesame street !!!

http://members.tripod.com/tiny_dancer/index2.html

There is a kid in every one of us.

Cheers

The normal, the smart and the business men

2006-06-03T04:55:00.000+08:00

Normal people think within the box. The smart people think out of the box. The businessmen think about the box.

A speech of wisdom by my talk crap buddy, Malcolm.

Cheers

Just like a wife

2006-05-31T01:28:00.000+08:00

A student was walking towards a printer, intending to use the printer to print his work when his friend called out to him. The student’s friend said:” Hey, do not use that printer! That printer is spoilt. It takes your money but does nothing! Just like a wife.”

Hope this jokes brings a smile to your face.

Cheers

Fire, Fire, Fire. Wolf, Wolf, Wolf. Smart Ases, Dumb Ases.

2006-05-30T07:06:00.000+08:00

It was another false fire alarm triggered off in my hall during the early morning. When I say early, I mean it. It was 4am in the early morning !!!

I just do not understand !!! If those “smart a*ses” are clever enough to get themselves into Imperial College, why are they so dumb and do stupid things to trigger off the fire alarm ???

This is the donkey times that the fire alarm is trigger off in middle of the night. And it is almost the end of the academic year, they should know by now what triggers the fire alarm and how to avoid it. If those dumb a*ses have learning difficulties, then why are they in Imperial College ???

Where is their common senses ??? Or not all senses are common ??? God Da*n it !!!

What determines who and what we love ???

2006-05-28T08:11:00.000+08:00

The way to determine who (or what) we love is by our feelings and not through rational thinking. That is what makes decision so difficult. But it is also the factor that makes love to have its magical touch.

The quote came from the cartoon, South Park. I was watching South Park just now when the dialogue struck me. I cannot quote the dialogue word for word but I have kept the meaning similar to the context of the dialogue.

Spend some time to think, analyse and digest those words.

My London Nightmare (Part 3)

2006-05-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

It has been some time since I write about my London Nightmare series already. Since I have no mood to study, I decided to continue the story…….

A brief re-cap, I end up in my College purely due to the College’s administrative mistake, and my English s**ks. Making me feel terrible and have self-doubt about my capabilities and knowledge. I started to wonder if I can pass my exams and graduate from my College.

The self-doubt I had soon developed into inferior complex. The inferior complex that I had lost it since I started the end of my Polytechnic year 1 studies as I was doing quite well then. I took two of my exams, molecular biology and physical biochemistry with fear, anxiety and my inferior complexity.

I was thinking to myself :” If I were to fail my exams, to analysis the cause of it will be very difficult. I could fail because I really cannot cope with the studies here, it could be my poor command of English that could not allow me to express my thoughts and knowledge well enough to the examinations, or both.”

It took the College a term for them to compute and release our results ………...2 months of waiting ……... 2 months of pure mental torture ……...

While waiting for my results to be released, I keep having bad dreams at least 3 times a week. The pain is just too much for me……... But I just have to bear it ……...

Hamleys

2006-05-23T04:29:00.000+08:00

I was shopping with two of my friends yesterday and went into Hamleys, a gigantic toy store in London. It is a six storey shop including the basement filled with toys. After browsing through the store, a thought suddenly came through my mind.

As a kid, I had always wanted many toys of certain cartoon series or collections. Considering myself lucky, I was given some of the toys I wanted as I am the youngest in my family and my family dot me a lot. Still, I didn’t get all the toys in my wish list *I know that is impossible*. But, as a kid *even now, there is still a kid in me*, I wish to be a rich man when I grow so that I can buy all the toys and games that are on my wish list.

The trip in Hamleys made me realized that all the toys and games I wanted as a kid are mostly out of production and have become “antiques” or collectables. All those toys are hard to find, more expensive and first hand are even rarer *I do not like second hand stuffs*, let alone having a complete set of certain toy series. For instance, the original Transformer, Mask *is a cartoon eons ago and not the Jim Carrey movie* and Lego, the castle series.

On the other hand, my thoughts was even if I am rich and manage to get those toys, I will have no time to play with them as I will be too busy with my work *if not, how do I get so rich and influential to manage to find and buy the toys*. While typing my blog, I also realize that I will have no one to share my toys and joy with. Back in the good old days while I was still a kid, on the get together session on big occasions such as Chinese New Year, my cousins and I will bring our toys of the same cartoon but different character and play together. But now, even if I have the whole collection of characters, who will play with me ??? Will I have the time to play with the toys ???

Have anyone of you have the same thoughts as me or agree with my thoughts after reading this entry ???

In life, you will not get most of the things that you want most of the time.

Cheers

My London Nightmare (Part 2)

2006-05-08T07:18:00.000+08:00

There is a Chinese saying, trouble do not travel alone. After being “threaten” by my admission tutor, I started to get worried if I am able to catch up with the school work. While I was trying to get accustom to the life in London and school work, I was once again put into test by god…….

As a second year student, I was required to take a supplementary course. The supplementary course is similar to those cross faculty subjects offer in National University of Singapore (NUS) or Nayang Technology University (NTU). Because I register for the supplementary course “late” *the other students register last academic year*, the only course left open for me is the Biochemistry dissertation. It is a 6000 words report that I have to write with a lecturer assigned as my mentor.

For most of my dear friend out there, you all might have known that I have terrible problem with the English language. My General Certificate of Education, ordinary level (GCE ‘O’ level) English language subject is only C5. That is not all, after being away from school for about three years *two and a half years in the National Service (NS), half a year waiting for the NS enlistment and the start my College*, which I had not been reading and writing much, my English have deteriorated. My point here is that my English s**ks to the core.

The problem comes in when I talk to my project mentor, and submitted a outline of my dissertation to him, he commented that my command of English is extremely poor. My mentor said he cannot understand what I was writing and asked me how I fair for my year 1 studies *he forgot that I come into year 2 straight*. This is the point that breaks me. Not that he forgot about my status, but his question struck me that with my command of English, I would not be able to express myself clearly in exams and thus, fail my exams.

With weeks of fear after meeting my admission tutor that I might not be able to cope with my studies. Now my dissertation mentor is trying to tell me that my terrible command of English will affect my academic performances as I cannot express my knowledge and ideas in a well understood manner.

All these events and comments set fear in me, get me worried and eventually led me to have self doubt. Initially, with the acceptance of my College directly into year 2 boost my morale and give me confidence that I lack in years. I told myself that I am “god-like”. Finally, my talent is recognized !!! I might make it big in the future one day !!! I am member of the elite in the Singapore society !!! But it is the exact same reason that makes me lost all confidence to the rock bottom and even to a stage of self doubt. I even think that I am a dog. I was just simply lucky to get admitted into my College and I am not fit to be in the College at all !!! MY PRESENCE IN LONDON AND COLLEGE WAS JUST PURELY A MISTAKE AND NOTHING MORE !!! I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A PIECE OF SHIT !!!

My Favourites - Movies

2006-05-07T22:16:00.000+08:00

English film: Prime, Saving Private Ryan, Down Periscope, Kingdom of Heaven,

Chinese flim: Para Para Sakura, Xin Dong,

Currently, that is wat i can think of at the moment, will edit this entry and add in more films and comments.

Cheers

My London Nightmare (Part 1)

2006-04-29T23:42:00.001+08:00

Most of you, my friends out there, might just see the glamorous side of my study trip to London. Not many of you know what has happen to me here for the past six months or so. This post will be more like a whining session. But I really need to have a channel to pour out my woes.

Since the start of my studies, in the first week of school, my nightmares begin. I got to find out that I was not intended to be admitted directly into year 2 when I requested for my time-table from the student office. After speaking to the administrative personnel in the student office, they told me that the issue will be clarified. Fear sets in! On my part, I had make sure that all the correspondence between UCAS (a body that deals with applications to UK universities) and me or my university and me states that I am accepted into the college as a year 2 student. How come now they are not aware that I am a year 2 student ??? I did not get reply about my status actively from the student office. I had to bug them everyday about this issue. Finally, I was referred to my admission tutor.

My admission tutor told me that he intended to admit me into year 1 instead of year 2 as I had requested. My direct entry was overlooked. He further explained to me that with my Diploma certification and results, I am qualified to be admitted into the college as a year 1 student without any doubt, but to be in year 2 directly, I might struggle with my course work. *damn !!! I feel so cheated coming here !!! I had turn down other reputable universities that also offer me direct entry to be in your college* He even specifically mentioned that I might not do well in modules like physical biochemistry and protein studies. I insisted that the college honour their offer and I got what I want and deserve eventually. But the talk with my admission tutor had made me feel uneasy and insecured. I started to get worried if I am able to cope with my course work ??? This is one of the best college, I am not that smart all along in my life, those students here all mostly straight As ‘A’ level students. Those Singaporean students, 70% are scholars, PSC, SAFOS, A*STAR and etc…….. *what I want to say is that they are smart people, you get want I mean ???* I thought the college had genuinely deem fit me capable and knowledgeable, that is why my request of direct year 2 entry was granted. Now, all the confidence that I had previously, pack from home in my heart, soul and mind are lost.

Did I make the correct decision of insisting to be in year 2 directly ??? But I had no choice; my family financial status can only allow me to be studying in London for 2 years. It was only that my college had accepted me directly into second year will I be able to afford the study here. There is no way back, no exit, no alternative, but to struggle and make the best out of the situation.

I dare not mentioned this problem to my family yet as I do not want them to get worried. If I had discussed this matter to them, I believed they will advice me to do what I am doing now; to stay, to study hard and pull through it. Breaking the news to them will only make them worried for me and nothing will change. I will let them know about this only when I make it through this academic year. My mother is rather old and not in good health conditions. Thus, I do not want to make her worry. I will face this challenge alone *and some friends here who give me moral supports*

To be continued ………….

Difficult, Painful But Necessary Decision

2006-04-17T02:44:00.000+08:00

As you can see, I have not been blogging recently. This is because my dissertation has inculcate the fear of typing into me !!! I am sick of typing !!! You guys should try to generate a 6000 words report one day ……. It is hell !!! It makes you don’t want to touch your keyboard for some time. And also, my exams are coming soon…….. Alright, let me tell you about a pain decision I made a few days ago.

While I was going clearing my school email account, I came across an email about a pharmaceutical company advertising its summer placement. With the rejections of my applications for internship in investment banking in UK, and numerous bad news for my internship applications in Singapore, the pharmaceutical internship looks like a pretty attractive offer.

Some of you all might know that I would very much like to jump out of lab work as there are not much career advancements in lab work. But look at the current situation, I am a year 2 student now, if I do not get an internship this year, this is it, I will be graduating next year. How will employer perceive me when I go for interview in the future? They will definitely ask me why I did not go for summer internship during my last summer vacations. Especially those Singapore employers, they might think that I am not up to the mark or something very wrong with me, which is why I can’t get an internship.

Another factor that pushes me to apply the internship is that, the very first reason to come over to UK to study is to expose myself to the UK research culture *that was the very initial though when I apply to UK university, at that time, I was still thinking of working in lab*. What other better ways to broaden my horizon and to be able to tell the differences of UK and Singapore in a whole wide spectrum other than study, living and WORKING in UK ??? So I have to resign my fate and have submitted my application to the company.

All of you might think what is so hard to make such decision ??? Well, you must understand that I am a homely person. To take up this summer placement means that I will be away from home two years straight. This is tough for me and my mother *who is rather old and dotes me a lot. I am kinda her everything right now in life*. Next is that I miss you guys back home……. I WANNA COME HOME !!! Not to mention the food and COST OF LIVING !!! I have been living like a really simple man here…… no movies, no going to places that need entrance fees, no good food, no dating, no nothing ………. Just keep study, rot in my room and occasional visits to my favourite National Gallery of UK. The only thing I do not miss is Singapore weather.

With so much I miss back home, I have made a difficult, painful but necessary decision, to apply for the summer placement……….. *sob* *sob*……..

*Sob* *Sob*

Six Tooth

History Lesson Number Two

2006-04-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

And yes, the second blog is still on introduction, introduction about myself; my nick. Why I call myself six tooth. This is a nick name given by a few friends of mine. To commemorate my daring act; to pull out six teeth at one shot. Yes !!! Six !!! Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five but SIX !!!

You might wonder where on earth do I have so much teeth to spare ??? Four of the six teeth are nuisance; the wisdom teeth. The other one is an adult pre-molar that is blocking the other pre-molar that is coming out, since there is some time left before the next patient comes in, the dentist decides to pull it out for me (just joking). The real reason is to prevent any complication in the future. The last unfortunate tooth to go off is a baby or milk tooth. As I have been taking care of my teeth well, they like me so much until they don’t wanna leave me. So, I have to invite the security guard (in this case, the dentist) to escort the trouble maker (my milk tooth) out. As you can see…… most of my dental problems are caused by my milk teeth (I got a few of them last time, and I get rid of them one by one by one by one ……….).

Therefore, upon hearing that I am going to pluck six teeth out in one go, my cold blooded, inhuman, insane, unfeeling, heartless and evil friends (You all know who you are ..........) burst out laughing……… *ha ha ha …..*(in my mind, i can still hear their evil laughter until today) *POOF* That is the birth of my nick: SIX TOOTH. You might wonder their (my friends) command of English…… since it is plural; shouldn't it be six teeth then? The use of tooth is just to make nick sounds cute (don’t u think so too ???) I am trying to act cute here also la ……..

At some point of time, you might notice I use this nick: milktooth, as well……. That is a nick I give myself between the time I know my milk teeth are giving me a lot of trouble and the horrible idea of parting with six teeth of mine in one day *sob sob*. Because I need a cute and creative nick for myself to register an email account and things in the internet. It takes me some time to come out this unique nick, MILKTOOTH!

In conclusion ………. I am now known as SIX TOOTH (most of the time) or MILKTOOTH (some time).

Six tooth signing off …….. Cheers ………

My First Blog

2006-04-01T07:45:00.000+08:00

As I am a systematic, boring and old fashion guy, my first blog will be why I decided to blog. *sounds boring already huh?* *even the title of this blog is old fashion and boring* *can't think of something new and creative* Well, that is how I chose to start ……..

1) Age has caught up. *thanks for this reminder time and again arh Mr. Malcolm Ngiam*

For most of my friends, they have already realized that I can be rather forgetful at times (or most of the time). I can for one moment call my friend name, but then forget what I want to say to them. Or, when talking to them, going through point by point with them, and at the mid of the conversation, forget what is the next point I want to say. It is like seconds ago when I have that thought in my mind.

So, my blog will serve as a storage place of my memories and things that I like but left at the back of my mind collecting dust. *And mind you, it can really be way back my mind with tons of dust.*

2) A place to pen down my thoughts finally

I constantly have thoughts coming to my mind but never pen them down in diaries or what. This will be my diary I suppose. Used to try writing diaries, but I was thinking where to keep them (once they grow in numbers)??? So I stop writing after a few days. It seems to me technology has its advantage now. I am a man with very little secrets; those secrets of mine will still be in the old warehouse (at the back of my mind collecting dust and their final destination: is with me into my grave). The best way to keep a secret is not to leave it in any physical form.

My thoughts are usually about life. My life and life as a whole. Some people termed it as feel. Feelings……. *Visit my blog often, and you will know what is that*

3) Because currently I am miles away from home. A way to keep my family and friends inform about my life.

This reason only arises recently as I am currently studying in London. This is a strong push factor as you can see. That is why I start blogging now and not back in Singapore. *But saying this, wonder who will actually read my blog* * Aiya…… do not think so much lah……*

Think I should stop at this 3 reasons if not I will just carry on blah blah blah ………. *Wonder who actually have the stamina to hang on and read until this point???*

Alright then……. This will be the end of my first blog…….. Cheers……..